Daily Bread #127

Today the temperature was up to 108, the air quality was “unhealthy for sensitive groups, and it was a holiday weekend during a pandemic. It was a day to hang at home with the A/C on. It was even too hot by the pool. The photo above was from a hike we took earlier in the week when it was cooler and the air somewhat better. It was also non-holiday weekday so the trail wasn’t crowded. Like the tree, we will try to keep standing despite the ravages of the world. There is beauty in survival, even if the leaves are no longer green and the sap no longer flows.

I may not have sap, but I try to keep moving, even when I can’t go outside.

I “closed all the rings” on my Apple watch every day this last week. The “stand” ring is the easiest as it only requires standing up for at least a minute for 12 hours. I haven’t missed that one at all since I got the watch at the end of July, after my Fitbit died. The exercise one is only a little harder, requiring 30 minutes of exercise. A short hike or half an hour on the stationary bike will close that ring. I’ve only missed that one a few times, mainly when taking a recovery day after an extra long and strenuous hike. The move ring – that one is more of a challenge. Closing it requires burning at least 470 calories through exercise. It sounds easy, but this week, when I couldn’t go on as many hikes because of the air quality, the heat, and the holiday, I had to work on it. 90 minutes on the stationary bike does it, and it is OK to not do it all at once. I have now closed that ring 13 days in a row.

It is a good thing I like math, It is a good thing we sprung for A/C right after we bought the house. Doing the bike without it would have given me heat stroke. As it was, a half an hour at a time was about right to keep my sweat from blinding me.

Weirdly, my average weight for last week was 141.6 – EXACTLY what it has been for the last 4 weeks. I am just trying to stay under 145, 150 would also be fine. I went out to dinner at a local brew pub on Saturday. I was my first in restaurant meal since the pandemic. It was outside, of course, with widely spaced tables and a masked waitress, but it felt strange, scary, and wonderful all at the same time. Because my weight has been so well under control, and because I haven’t eaten out in at least six months, I ordered my favorite meal at this restaurant we used to go to often. Fish and chips with garlic fries and a pint of stout. Wow! It has literally been years since I have ordered that. I enjoyed it thoroughly and without guilt, knowing I would be back to my healthy eating plan the next day. It is not “cheating” if you plan it, and any type of food is fine once in awhile. It is the habits that matter. My everyday “habits” of exercise and healthy food are well established now, so I can enjoy some fried food or a couch-potato day without making habits of them.

Our minister read the following poem today during his sermon. (zoom church!)

Old Maps No Longer Work

I keep pulling it out –
the old map of my inner path.
I squint closely at it,
trying to see some hidden road
that maybe I’ve missed,
but there’s nothing there now
except some well-traveled paths.
they have seen my footsteps often,
held my laughter, caught my tears.

I keep going over the old map
but now the roads lead nowhere,
a meaningless wilderness
where life is dull and futile.

“toss away the old map,” she says
“you must be kidding!” I reply.
she looks at me with Sarah eyes
and repeats, “toss it away.
it’s of no use where you’re going.”

“I have to have a map!” I cry,
“even if it takes me nowhere.
I can’t be without direction.”
“but you are without direction,”
she says, “so why not let go, be free?”

so there I am – tossing away the old map,
sadly fearfully, putting it behind me.
“whatever will I do?” wails my security
“trust me” says my midlife soul.

no map, no specific directions,
no “this way ahead” or “take a left”.
how will I know where to go?
how will I find my way? no map!
but then my midlife soul whispers:
“there was a time before maps
when pilgrims traveled by the stars.”

It is time for the pilgrim in me
to travel in the dark,
to learn to read the stars
that shine in my soul.
I will walk deeper
into the dark of my night.
I will wait for the stars.
trust their guidance.
and let their light be enough for me.

Joyce Rupp OSM

I have always been a “map” person, needing a plan. Maybe I can learn to follow the stars.

L’Chaim!  Week 18 of “maintenance”: My average weight this week is the same as last week’s average for a total loss of 181.2