Thanksgiving Day was also the 30th birthday of our twins (the 2 sitting in chairs.) And of course we had two cakes, neither of which I even tasted. I actually left the room while everyone ate cake – part of why I had a successful Thanksgiving. Weirdly enough for a holiday week, I lost 4.6 pounds, one of my highest weekly losses ever, which totally made up for the 2.2 pounds I gained the week before. Since the dinner was just us, our 3 children, their partners, and Anne’s nephew Tom (who took this picture) I did not have to be shy about compulsively staying within my calorie budget. I ate really lightly earlier in the day, weighed the turkey I ate and simply brought measuring cups and tablespoons to the table. I had enough left in my budget to have 4 ounces of turkey, 3 tablespoons of gravy, 2 tablespoons of cranberry sauce, 1/4 cup of stuffing, 3/4 cup of roasted brussels sprouts, 1/2 cup of green bean casserole, 1/4 cups of roasted sweet potatoes, and a 1/2 cup of salad. The servings were small, but it was a feast! It came in at 566 calories. (A Big Mac w/out fries is 563). It was more than I had eaten at one sitting in a long time and I felt more than satisfied. Losing a good amount of weight the same week was just more “icing on that cake”- the one I did not eat!
I also realized this week that I am really grieving the strong bonds we had in class with the facilitator we had. It was 30 weeks of intensive work together. Now we are thrown into a group with both a new facilitator and a bunch of strangers who have been in the program longer. I like the new facilitator and am enjoying the stories and wisdom of the veterans, but it is still a loss. Losing my “fat lady’ identity is also a loss. Every change in life involves a loss. Change, even “good’ change, is always hard, but it is what life always is, if you are going to keep living it anyway. It will take time to build up trust in the new group, but I am confident that it will happen. I am going to work on helping it happen if I can. It reminds me some of congregational work. Everyone wants to hang out with their friends, and visitors can be ignored. If we care about what we are doing, in church, or in a program that depends on mutual support, we all need to do what we can the build and strengthen community, inviting the stranger, the new-comer in. I truly believe that diversity of all types is a blessing. We can learn so much from those who have different life experiences. It helps to have at least something in common, however, whether it is a commitment to losing weight or to creating a more just and peaceful world.
I am grateful for so much on this week after Thanksgiving. Most especially the rain, which extinguished the fires and cleaned the air.
(My stats for the last week – down 4.8 pounds, drank over 7 gallons of water and exercised for 210 minutes. My total weight loss so far is 66.6 pounds.)
This week I had what was only my second weekly weight gain that I have had since starting the program, but I know why. I love mystery in general, but not when it comes to improving my health. Three things contributed to my gain: take out Thai food, shrimp tacos with sweet potato fries, and not exercising at all because of the terrible air quality. I enjoyed the food, so maybe that was almost worth it, but the bad air had no positives to it. With so many losing homes and loved ones in the devastating fires, it feels a little bad to whine about the smoky air, but breath is live, and when we can not breathe, it feels like we are dying.
I do not want to die. At least not too soon. I have more to do, not the least of which is trying to improve our environment so that our planet might continue to sustain life.
I WILL get on the stationary bike this week, and will meet the Thanksgiving dinner challenge with resolve. I had a melt down yesterday, faced with the sight of the dinner rolls my wife had purchased for the meal. After some tears and conversation, she froze the rolls and agreed to skip the mashed potatoes. She is so wonderfully supportive and understood that the stuffing and gravy would be enough of a challenge for me. I can avoid dessert easily. I have never really liked pumpkin pie anyway. We are also having roasted brussels sprouts and I am roasting the sweet potatoes rather than coating them with butter, brown sugar, and marshmallows. The kids are bring a salad and a healthier green bean casserole. My plan is to measure out a small serving of dressing, a tablespoon or two of cranberry sauce, and a couple of dollops of gravy. Turkey is a really good protein, low fat and low calorie, so I will have a healthy serving of that. After that I will stick to the veggies. I will likely go a bit over my calorie budget today, but that is OK. Today is a day to feel thankful and not deprived. I am grateful for my improving health and I have a strong desire not to sabotage my progress. Wish me luck and grace!
(My stats for the last week – up 2.2 pounds, drank over 7 gallons of water and exercised for <30 minutes. My total weight loss so far is 61.8 pounds.)
The taste of ashes is in our mouth
The smell is in our nose
The flames have ravaged hopes
And taken lives
The fires have roared
Our lungs have filled with smoke
As we wait for the rain
That must surely come
Then washed clean and reborn
We will rise from the ashes
Above the haze
On the wings of our dreams
Last night was our first meeting with the new Lifestyles group. The lifestyles group is composed of people who have finished the 30 week intensive. We can attend the weekly meetings as long as we want and some people have been attending for way more than a year. It was good to hear from those who are further along on the journey. Us new kids composed about half of those in attendance last night. It was both good and hard being with my peeps in a different environment. The bonds between us are so strong that it will take awhile for us to blend and join with the others that have been there longer. I liked the new facilitator and am hopeful she can help us accomplish a melding together so we can become one ongoing supportive group. I did miss the intimacy and trust we have had in our smaller group and I hope that can both continue and expand.
This week has been impossible for exercise because of all the smoke from the horrible fires up north. The air is classified as “unhealthy” for everyone, and I am in the “sensitive” group so have been coughing even when indoors with the air purifier running full blast. My heart goes out to those who have lost homes and family in the fires. We really do need to get a handle on climate change before the West goes up in flames and the East and South are completely devastated by monster hurricanes and floods.
I also had my RMR (resting metabolic rate) test this week and found that my body burns 1555 calories a day when I am doing absolutely nothing. As a result, I am going to increase my calorie intake to 1350, which should still keep me on the weight loss path without going too low. Even with virtually no exercise, I still lost 1.2 pounds last week.
Sadly, too, we closed the pool for the winter, so the stationary bike will have to do once the smoke clears.
I also got some new pants last week. They were both on sale and fit! I am holding off on buying more as I hope to shrink out of the new ones before too long.
(My stats for the last week – 1.2 down pounds, drank over 7 gallons of water and exercised for 30 minutes. My total weight loss so far is 64 pounds.)
They shared the “before and after” pictures with us last night.
I am not done, but you can really see the difference. What you can’t see is how much better I feel.
Our last meeting last night was simply hilarious, as well as moving. We’d written a song for our facilitator, whose name is Joanna, and we gave her a gift after we sang it. To the tune of Oh Susanna:
“Oh, Joanna, oh don’t you cry for us. We’re off upstairs to lifestyles, our new group for to meet. A protein bar is in our mouth, a tear is in our eye, we’ll stay your cohort two seven, Joanna don’t you cry.”
She was totally blown away not the least by the fact that she had also written us a song TO EXACTLY THE SAME TUNE! Serendipity? Traveling along on the same wavelength for 30 weeks? A miracle?
Her song was amazing, with a verse about each person in the class, which I must say, nailed us each quite precisely.
The chorus was “Twenty Seven, Our cohort lost the fat. Smart skills, waters, logging cals, We’ve got the skills done pat.”
My favorite was the last one, “xx kept us very in the know on making habits stick, when faced with hard decisions, for God’s sake don’t be a dick.” It was one of his more famous lines during check it. We were all practically on the floor laughing.
I loved my verse too:
“Our group was helmed by Theresa, Reverend mom to all, her sage advice was cherished, she throws veggies at the wall.” The veggies at the wall line also referred to a check in story, but the less said about that one the better.
The group then overwhelmed me with some gifts. Two Tee shirts, in two sizes, one that I will need to shirk myself a bit more to fit into. 100% compliant because I was the only one who did not “cheat” the entire time. Except last week when I had that martini, but they didn’t know that when they ordered the shirts. A swimming trophy for my exercise, and egg cookers because I’d complained about peeling hard boiled eggs.
Hugs and tears all around last night. I blurred the faces in our group pic for privacy as not everyone has been as blatently public about being in the program as I have.
I am so happy that most of the group will stay together in the Lifestyles class. As we said last night, we need each other to keep on keeping on and really change our lives for good.
Tomorrow I am scheduled for a test that will tell me what my resting metabolic rate is. RMR is the amount of calories a body burns when it isn’t doing anything. It will help me know how many calories I should have each day to keep on losing the rest of my weight that needs to go. No exercise today and no food or coffee tomorrow morning before the test. I am looking forward to it.
(My stats for the last week – 1.8 down pounds, drank over 7 gallons of water and exercised for 260 minutes. My total weight loss so far is 62.8 pounds.)
Sunset. It is almost sunset for our group – at least as it has been configured for the last 28 weeks. Actually 29 weeks. I started counting weeks on this blog from the week we started meal replacements, not the week we started in the group. So next week will be the end of the 30 week “intensive phase” of the program. We will start in “lifestyles” which will be more weekly meetings that we can continue attending as long as we want. Forever might be good. It might take that long to really get committed to healthier eating in the long haul. I still have quite a bit of weight to lose, so it will be more than just “maintaining” for me. 61 pounds is nothing to sneeze at, however, and I am proud of myself.
Endings are almost always bittersweet. It does feel good to have finished something, but we will be leaving our awesome facilitator behind. I hope the new one has a good sense of humor too. She will need it; we are pretty rowdy. A few people in our group will be going to other lifestyles groups, ones closer to their homes or on nights that will be easier for them. I will miss them fiercly as well. Most of us will stay together though, a very good thing. I love our group!
It was a small group last night, only 8 of us plus our facilitator. A few people were traveling and others were spending Halloween with their kids. Quite a few of us wore costumes, which was fun. The topic was alcohol use, especially around the upcoming holidays. I haven’t had a drink since April when I started the program, and my intention is to wait until I get to my maintenance weight before having even one of my beloved martinis.
Alcohol involves more risks to weight loss than the obvious ones of calories and lowered inhibitions. I learned last night that it is important to eat some protein before drinking, because otherwise the body digests the alcohol as a priority and anything else will go directly to fat production. Who knew? My friend Brian must have been onto something with his blue cheese stuffed olives. I could maybe try a pepperoni stick as a garnish. Just kidding, but the protein idea was a good tip.
The holidays are coming, and I am cooking Thanksgiving dinner again this year. It will be a smaller one, just the kids and their partners, but I am going to try some healthier side dishes this year. Turkey is an awesome low fat protein if you don’t drown it in gravy.
I am still losing a pound or so each week – which shocks me in some ways. I am also not feeling hungry, except right before meal time. Having 3 small snacks in addition to 3 somewhat larger meals, seems to be working.
It has been another hard week in the world and I don’t have the emotional energy right now to write about all the horror this week. I wrote this poem earlier after attending a vigil. But please vote and please vote for Democrats. Lives are at stake, so many lives, so many precious lives.
(My stats for the last week – 1.7 down pounds, drank over 7 gallons of water and exercised for 390 minutes. My total weight loss so far is 61 pounds.)