Daily Bread #44

I can get so dependent on technology.  My FitBit wasn’t syncing to my phone or to my computer one day this week and it really stressed me.  What’s the point of exercising if I don’t get “credit,” if the goal doesn’t turn green on my screens?  Luckily, I figured out how to fix it by searching help forums -basically I needed to turn my phone off and back on.  This technology stuff can be  frustrating, but I do love it when it works.  I also adjusted my calorie goals this as I had set them a little too low.  Even though I ate a bit more this last week, I still lost almost 3 pounds, which is maybe a little too much. I may have to get even more calories in so I can keep my loss rate healthy.  Eating enough is as important as not eating too much.  It is all about balance and health.

Last night we talked about body image which was very moving.  Our culture is so horrible that it can make us hate our bodies, particularly if we are young and female and don’t fit the “ideal” body type. I sang the group this song. “How Could Anyone” (Song here)

They did not seem to mind my less than stellar singing voice, but they got the message.  We are all beautiful.  I also told them that I loved them when I met them, and that I don’t love them more now because they are thinner.

Maybe it is because I gained most of my weight after my 40’s, or maybe because I am a lesbian in a very long term relationship, but I never really hated my “fat” body or was particularly ashamed of it.  It was just who I was, someone with an “Earth Mother Goddess” body.  If it wasn’t for the health issues, I would not have considered altering my body in any way.  I am also having some trouble adjusting to the thinner me. It is a little weird, and I feel somewhat less substantial, that it is just a little harder to “claim my space” in a crowd.  I will get used to it, and I am definitely appreciating the health benefits I have achieved through the weight loss.

Next week I am going to a conference for retired UU ministers and their partners.  It should be good, although I have a presentation to do so I am a bit nervous about that.  Ministers can be an intimidating audience.  And most retired ministers tend to have a lot more experience than I do, as I entered the ministry fairly late in life.  Once I get going, I know it will be fine; it always is.  The Spirit hasn’t let me down yet, so no worries.

The conference food is likely to be buffet style, so as long as there is protein and veggies I should be fine.  Finding time to exercise might be harder, as schedules tend to be packed.  I am also a bit nervous about the 4 extra days we are staying, as restaurant meals will be involved, and those can be harder to figure out.  But since I have been doing so well, it will actually be fine if I gain a bit that week.  So no stress!  Or at least not too much.

My life is getting better and I realize that is always how it has been for me.  The presentation I will give at the conference next week is on my life’s journey, my odyssey.  I wrote a poem about it this morning and will likely start my talk with it.  (the poem is here)

And, special for Valentines Day, the words I spoke to Anne at our legal wedding in July of 2013, (here)

(My stats for the last week – down 2.9  pounds, drank over 7 gallons of water and exercised for over 540 minutes.  My cumulative weight loss so far is 87.4  pounds.)