Daily Bread #104
Sometimes there is a path you think you can follow. The rise looks gentle enough, doable, as they say. But sometimes that path, after it winds through some trees, after you get a glimpse of simply breathtaking views, the trail becomes a trial. It goes almost straight up and there are loose rocks that slip under your boots. At some point you realize that maybe you can reach the summit, but no way could you get down again without falling and sliding on your butt. It is important to find a path that leads more gently to the place you want to go.
The above picture is of a real trail in my neighborhood that looked inviting, but quickly became terrifying and so we turned around.
There are lessons in my walkabouts, if I pay attention. The metaphors get strained sometimes, like my muscles, but moving can also be a meditation.
I think we are in the second week of lockdown due to COVID-19; time is a little weird these days. We walk through the neighborhood between rain showers, I ride my stationary bike and do my physical therapy, we play cards, read, go to virtual church, share video calls with our kids, talk on the phone, and cook meals which take more planning as we are avoiding grocery stores and home deliveries can be delayed. Having a hot tub really helps for relaxation and we discovered GrubHub this week. We had a great dinner delivered from our favorite local Chinese restaurant with lots of leftovers for another day. I also wrote a couple of poems.
Life goes on, at least for now. It feels important to pace myself. This is a marathon not a sprint. After almost 2 years in the program (started in April of 2018), I have yet to wander too far from the path. If I can do that, I can also make it through this pandemic. I am grateful to have good companions and guides along the way, and feel very lucky to be in California where science is not considered fake news.
For all who are afraid, may courage come. For all who are sick, may they be healed.
L’Chaim! This week’s stats: My Fitbit report shows 75670 steps last week for 31 miles. I ate approximately 10367 calories and burned 13889 for a deficit of 3522. My average weight this week is down 1.1 pounds from last week’s average for a total loss of 169.3.
Daily Bread #103
Who is that masked woman?
I used to wear that same bandana back in the day, going to demonstrations against the Viet Nam war. I kept it wet and pulled it over my face to protect my eyes from the clouds of tear gas. These days, I just pull it up when others are passing a bit too close. It isn’t as good as a N-95 mask, but we need to save those for the health care workers because the US government is very unprepared for the pandemic. I am glad to be in California where I can at least trust the state, county, and city officials to not lie to us about the situation.
It is getting to me. The clueless people still running around in groups. The run on toilet paper. The racism still coming from Washington. I wish we had a president that at least acted like he cared about anyone but himself. They closed the parks here, which I knew was coming after the traffic jams at the beach this weekend. I’ll miss the trails, but at least my neighborhood is pleasant to walk in. Great views, especially if I head uphill. Tempers are short, though, including my own. I usually write this weekly blog fairly early on Mondays, but just couldn’t get centered enough today to put any words together. I am still not very centered, but am writing anyway. Does it have to make sense? Does anything make sense these days? I am scared and grumpy and am trying to cut myself some slack about it, and trying, not always effectively, to be generous with other stressed and grumpy people, especially on-line. We will get through this. I have to keep that hope alive, a flame that at least still flickers even if it isn’t burning very bright right now.
I lost some more weight this week again. Who cares? Maybe I still do. Paying attention to my body and its needs seems even more important just now as we hunker down and try to survive as best we can.
Love to all of you who might read this. We are in it all together, that much, at least, is very clear.
L’Chaim! This week’s stats: My Fitbit report shows 78875 steps last week for 32 miles. I ate approximately 10479 calories and burned 14074 for a deficit of 3595. My average weight this week is down 1.7 pounds from last week’s average for a total loss of 168.2.
Daily Bread #102
As we hunker down and avoid crowds, attend virtual church services, stock up on essentials, cancel appointments and social engagements, pretty much the only place to go is the great outdoors. It has been raining off and on this week, but we have still managed a few fairly long hikes. At home there is the internet, reading and playing cards. This poem, by the Rev. Lyn Unger is helping me cope:
Pandemic
What if you thought of it
as the Jews consider the Sabbath—
the most sacred of times?
Cease from travel.
Cease from buying and selling.
Give up, just for now,
on trying to make the world
different than it is.
Sing. Pray. Touch only those
to whom you commit your life.
Center down.
And when your body has become still,
reach out with your heart.
Know that we are connected
in ways that are terrifying and beautiful.
(You could hardly deny it now.)
Know that our lives
are in one another’s hands.
(Surely, that has come clear.)
Do not reach out your hands.
Reach out your heart.
Reach out your words.
Reach out all the tendrils
of compassion that move, invisibly,
where we cannot touch.
Promise this world your love–
for better or for worse,
in sickness and in health,
so long as we all shall live.
–Lynn Ungar 3/11/20
I wrote one this week as well.
When fear comes knocking
I never know
If I should answer
Or hide somewhere inside.
Maybe it won’t know
That I am here.
Maybe it will go away
If I leave it standing
At the door.
But fear is just a
Messenger, a warning.
Not a harbinger
Of what must be.
Listen, Fear,
I hear you.
I’ll be as careful as I can
And I thank you
For your time.
Go away now.
I need courage more
Just now.
Send some over, please.
Last week, in group, likely our last in-person meeting for the duration, we talked about self-control. I ran across this article which seemed timely.
It had some useful insights I think. This is one:
“People who are good at self-control … seem to be structuring their lives in a way to avoid having to make a self-control decision in the first place,” Galla tells me. And structuring your life is a skill. People who do the same activity — like running or meditating — at the same time each day have an easier time accomplishing their goals, he says. Not because of their willpower, but because the routine makes it easier.”
Read the whole article, but if this current cloud has a silver lining, our lives are all becoming much more structured as our options become increasingly limited. Maybe that is why my weight is down again this week without really trying.
Stay well, everyone. We are in this together. The whole wide world is in this.
“Promise this world your love–
for better or for worse,
in sickness and in health,
so long as we all shall live.”
L’Chaim! This week’s stats: My Fitbit report shows 79153 steps last week for 32 miles. I ate approximately 10388 calories and burned 14115 for a deficit of 3727. My average weight this week is down 1.6 pounds from last week’s average for a total loss of 166.5.
Sermons, Poetry, and Other Musings 
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