Weekly Bread #232

Our hike this week including 4 of these structures to navigate. They were bridges/boardwalks across gullies or streams. I found it challenging to climb them, and rather scary to go down on the other side. My balance (and my confidence in my balance) has never been great. My experience of polio as a child left me with one leg slightly shorter and feet that look like they belong to two different people. Tripping and falling was something I got used to expecting at an early age.

A colleague and facebook “friend” (we have never met in person), who has been very involved with fat liberation, posted this week about her decision to begin taking some medication which will likely lead to weight loss. She mused about beginning this journey while not wanting to betray her conviction that ALL bodies are worthy and beautiful. Fat liberation is Body liberation, and it has to mean that we all need to have the autonomy to decide what is right for ourselves – for our own bodies.

Having been on my own body journey for the last 5 or so years, so much of her post spoke to me. It also reminded me of when I went to college on scholarship and it how it sometimes felt like I was a “class traitor” as I began to act in some ways like my wealthy classmates. (I still remembering buying a brocade vest from a shop on Union Square – it was on sale, but it freaked me out as all my other clothes were from Sears and Penny’s )

As I have aged, I began to realize that, most of us anyway, never really leave any our histories behind us. We change but we are also the same in some essential ways. I still react to class and other privileges through my childhood frame despite my education and other middle class trappings now. And, because of my weight loss, I may not be shopping in the plus sized stores anymore, but I still much prefer loose-fitting clothes – and relatively inexpensive ones. Most of my wardrobe is from Costco and REI. I do love being able to fit into REI hiking clothes and I am really enjoying being out hiking, something I couldn’t do for years. I also know that my physical ability to do so is only temporary and really is a miracle. Stairs on trails will always be a bit more challenging for me than for others who never had polio. I may not be graceful, but grace has definitely blessed me.

Blessings on all of our journeys, wherever they may lead.

L’Chaim!

Average weight this week was up 1.4 pounds for a total loss of 144.8