Weekly Bread #211

It’s funny how we count so much in terms of years. Birthdays are the most obvious, and I had my 73rd one of those this week. But we also make note of a lot of other anniversaries. Celebrating wedding anniversaries are common and a lot of couples also celebrate the anniversaries of their first date. We do both of those as it took 39 years to be able to marry legally. I know couples who married in multiple countries and states as marriage equality crept gradually around the world. It still isn’t legal everywhere though, and it is still criminal in places. There are worse things than having several wedding anniversaries, and not being able to have even one is not the worst of it.

Ministers celebrate the anniversaries of their ordination, and sometimes their call to a beloved congregation. When I was a federal employee I took note of my service comp date every year. I got a pin after 10 years I think, and maybe after 20 years too. I left on early retirement before my 30 years were up, though, so I never got that certificate or pin.

Many people take note each year on the dates that loved ones died. We remember the dates of difficult surgeries, major accidents and some illnesses, the acute ones like strokes and heart attacks, or serious ones like a cancer diagnosis. We remember some wars, when they started and when they ended. Assassinations, bombings, terror, earthquakes and floods all implant anniversary dates in our consciousness.

If we should forget one of these dates, we will be reminded. The media will tell us, or Facebook, which keeps track of our more personal anniversaries fairly well.

I began my weight loss journey on April 18, 2018. It is worth remembering that date because it has and continues to be quite a journey. It is not a day hike, and there have been many ups and downs, scary places, and fallen trees across the trail.

I gained some weight this week, mostly due to birthday cake I think, but in other good news, my weight this morning is exactly what it was 3 months ago. I name that a victory in staying on the path.

L’Chaim

Average weight this week was up 2.1 pounds for a total loss of 146

Weekly Bread # 210

The horizon is so expansive when you are near the ocean. The waves have their own rhythm and the sand brushes lightly against your skin, even if there is only a slight breeze that day. Better not to go too near the sea during a storm because a howling wind might drive the sand to scour your flesh away. The waves might rise to overwhelm you.

We can’t avoid all the storms, but we can still appreciate the lovely gentle days. Life can be good that way.

Today is my birthday. 73 is an amazing age. I am amazed that I have made it this long, still able to do so much. I have weathered more than a few storms and have relaxed at times in the sun. I can still hike the trails and sit on a log to eat lunch on a beach. It is better not to sit directly on the sand, however, because the struggle to stand up again isn’t worth it. I have learned that from experience, which is an excellent teacher.

So I will have dinner out tonight for my birthday, and I expect there will be cake. (I know this for a fact!) It will be fun.

Maybe a martini or even two will be more than fine tonight as well.

The horizon always seems to be moving as exactly the same speed we are traveling. Always the same distance away. Always calling us on.

L’Chaim

Average weight this week was down 1.2 pounds for a total loss of 148.1

Weekly Bread #209

There is usually a way through if we keep looking for it. Trees can fall into a stream, creating an obstacle for the water as it journeys toward the sea. The water has to go around, or over unless it is strong enough to break through the log jam. That happens sometimes, it can take another storm to sweep away the damage caused by an earlier one. Nothing is really static in this world.

Maybe that is why it is easier to lose weight than it is to maintain it. Of course gaining weight is rarely difficult, because it is what our bodies are designed to do. It is about survival, about building up a reserve for times when food will not be as abundant. Bears prepare for winter by stuffing themselves with as many squirrels and berries as they can. They then lose the weight over the winter only to gain it again. Losing is also part of the design. The yo yo pattern of gain/loss/gain is fairly common in nature. Our modern diet industry tends to simulate starvation by restricting food, both in quantity and variety. It is fairly easy to lose weight on such plans. But staying on a very restrictive plan is neither healthy or emotionally feasible, and then the yo yo goes up again, often even higher than before.

So what to do, if you are someone like me? Losing weight was important to my health, and perhaps even to my survival. I don’t have diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, and a host of other medical issues that I suffered from when I weighed over 300 pounds. Between April of 2018 and April of 2020, I lost 170 pounds and recovered my health. I lost another 15 through the end of that year, without really trying. I have been trying to hold my weight steady since January of 2021, but instead it was creeping up slowly. I had regained 23 pounds in 2021. I gained 18 more in 2022. Nothing horrible, my health is still good, but the trend line wasn’t.

This is what I wrote on January 1 of this year:

“I am not pleased with the 18 pounds I gained in the last year. If I am still gaining after the end of January, I am going to go back to my support group at Kaiser. Sometimes we need others, an accountability group, to keep on the path we have chosen. It can be hard to hike alone.” 

Funny to frame that support group as a penalty of sorts, as I really love those people – they are MY people after all, but as an incentive, it seemed to work. I have lost a couple of pounds since I made that promise to myself. Since “maintenance” may be impossible, maybe a good plan is to keep that yo yo string fairly short, up and down slowly and as steady as can be. I am giving this another month or so, to see how the water flows past the obstacles that always seem to appear.

L’Chaim

Average weight this week was down .6 pounds for a total loss of 146.9

Weekly Bread #208

Last week I posted the image of a tree that looked almost human – at least it called to mind a number of human postures. Was it dancing, weeping, walking, blessing the earth or bending a knee in prayer or protest? Your own emotions, I think, informed what you might have seen in that tree. But what about this one? Does it feel as close to human as the other one did?

This tree amazed me because it looks so completely chaotic, even blatantly so. Some of its branches had broken off from the wind and were lying, shattered, on the ground. Others were covered with thick moss-like lichen, and the bark was mottled or peeling in weird ways. The branches seemed to be growing every which way, with absolutely no idea which was was even up!

I have felt that way. Maybe you have too.

I actually think this tree looks more like the normal human condition than the one from last week. Sometimes we take a strong stance and it is clear what we are doing. “Striking a pose” as it goes. Most of the time, however, we are just muddling along. We do the best we can, wondering where the sunshine will come from next, or worrying that the wind and rain will bring us down, more than just to our knees. The thing about being on your knees, is that it is easier to rise.

I am not on my knees or dancing wildly, just muddling along this week. That’s just fine.

L’Chaim

Average weight this week was up .9 pounds for a total loss of 146.3