Weekly Bread # 246

I didn’t get much hiking done this week between eye appointments and attending an online conference for retired UU ministers and their partners. It has been a week of thinking about ministry, and about beginnings and endings. I gave away some of my robes and stoles a few weeks ago to people still serving. Retired ministers don’t need so many, and I had four. I kept a black robe and the 4 or 5 stoles that were gifts and have special memories attached to them. The decision to give them away felt right; part of change is letting go of the old. You have to let go to be more open to what is happening now and what will come.

The UURMaPA conference was about change (isn’t everything?) and it was good to hear from and speak with other retired colleagues who are facing some of the same challenges that I am. As part of the conference we always hold a memorial service to lift up the lives all the ministers and partners who have died in the previous six months. This service was particularly beautiful and moving. As time passes I find I know more of the people being remembered. People I will miss, and that I loved, and not just people I had heard of but never knew. Losing those we love can happen at any age, but does increase as we and our friends grow older

And I was glad to have saved a robe and those stoles, because yesterday I attended an ordination. Traditionally at those events, all clergy present robe and process into the sanctuary together. We are also the second group (after family) to be called up for the laying on of hands. I love doing that!

It was a wonderful ceremony, for a new minister, a woman who I only met in the last year, but who I hope will grow closer to. The music was fabulous at the service, the charge to the minister was close to hilarious, and the charge to the congregation to the point and real beyond any doubt. Our faith is a priesthood of all believers. The religious professionals, the ordained clergy, cannot do much of anything without the support and the commitment of the people they serve.

The sermon spoke to me too- it was a riff on the “H”‘s geologists (the prior career of the ordinand ) need in their work. Hammer, hydration, haul-it, were a few of them. I kept waiting for “helmet.” Maybe geologists don’t wear them, but ministers could surely use them when people start flinging those (hopefully only) metaphorical rocks at our heads. Ducking those rocks works for awhile, but it can eat away at your call and your soul in time if ducking is all you do. It was never my style anyway. Maybe the hammer will be especially handy breaking those rocks down into the dust of the old pain and hurt that is their true source. It can take awhile to heal those old wounds and redirect that energy where it belongs, so I still think the helmet would be handy too, at least for awhile. Don’t duck, but maybe let a few of those rocks bounce off and fall to the dirt where they belong. They aren’t really about the minister anyway.

Too often we humans need someone to blame, and too often we blame the innocent bystander, rather than the ones who in fact did the harm. We imagine malicious intent, when it is instead just an error in judgement or an unintentional impact. Direct and respectful communication, listening, can help reduce the rock throwing. If someone keeps throwing rocks, it is time to restrain them or ask them to leave. Don’t supply them with bullets. Take their guns away. Melt them down and make something useful. The wider culture is not only around us, it is in each of us.

Living for love and justice. It is the only thing that can begin to see any of us through. It is the only way the world will know true peace. No justice, no peace. But peace does not mean the absence of conflict, because conflict, like change, is just part of being human. We have to dare to struggle with hard and painful issues while leaving the rocks where they belong.

Then last night I had the weirdest dream:

A funky small gas stove/barbecue was in front of a fridge in a large house I didn’t recognize although it seemed I lived there. The gas was turned up high and flames were shooting from the sides. There were pans underneath all 4 burners heating was looked like hot oil for frying. The oil was overflowing the pans and leaking into the heater vents. Suddenly I realized that the floor was hot and the basement was on fire. “Call 911!” I yelled and then raced out the door. and woke up.

I am not sure that all dreams contain messages for us, but in any case, don’t play with fire, call for help when you need it, and if all else fails, run like hell.

L’Chaim!

Average weight this week was down .3 pounds for a total loss of 143.8

Weekly Bread #245

Well, it isn’t COVID as I tested 3 times and have remained negative. I guess I forgot that bad colds can be pretty miserable. At least I think it is a cold. Could be partly a reaction to the flu shot and COVID booster I got on Monday. Who knows? Just thankful for generic NyQuil and Mucinex which together are getting me through the night and the day. We all need a little help from our friends sometimes, even if those friends are over the counter medications.Halls cough drops also help. Peach tea with honey.

Needless to to say, I haven’t hiked since I got sick although we did do 5 + miles on Monday before heading to Kaiser for my shots. A real joy this week on Wednesday was going to SF on the ferry to wait outside Immigration while my son’s partner took her citizenship test. We celebrated with lunch at the Ferry Plaza and then walked her back so she could attend the ceremony. ICE doesn’t let anyone but the new citizens attend anymore, so we waited outside. It was fun chatting with the other people waiting for their loved ones to come out. It was a much more positive and hopeful atmosphere than around the deportation hearings which happen in that same building. Now this amazing young woman will be able to vote in this country – and every vote counts.

I did get my steps in that day with all the walking around and waiting. I felt fine until Wednesday night when the sore throat hit me. Have you heard the phrase, “feed a cold, starve a fever?” I haven’t had a fever.

L’Chaim!

Average weight this week was up 1.1 pounds for a total loss of 143.5

Weekly Bread #244

I spent the weekend down in Santa Cruz at a retreat for local Unitarian Universalist Ministers. The last time I attended one of these retreats was before the pandemic. I was registered to go last March but got COVID instead and had to cancel. (The pandemic is not over!) This time I made it. There were around 30 of us, most actively serving as parish ministers or in the community as chaplains or in other roles. There was a newly ordained colleague and one candidate for ministry serving an internship. There were people I had never met and old friends in attendance. It was also a stroll down memory lane as I grew up very near the retreat center in Watsonville. The ocean and beach were fabulous too.

Although I enjoy gathering with other retired colleagues, I really love being with people who are doing this work full time, and especially those who are beginning their lives of service in the challenging role of professional ministry.

Our collaborative worship services were moving and beautiful. Our tradition is in very good hands with these faith filled souls. They inspire me.

My heart was also broken when some spoke of some of their experiences and difficulties. Congregations don’t always treat their ministers as well as they should. Hospital administrators also can make chaplains lives much harder than they need to be.

It was a retreat center – meals included – so although my weight went down this week, next week will likely be a different story. No worries, every minute and every bite was worth it.

Now I need to rest up from the retreat. The single bed with a very firm mattress was not that comfortable so I am a bit sleep deprived.

L’Chaim!

Average weight this week was down 1.5 pounds for a total loss of 144.6

Weekly Bread #243

I have never been one who has been much into meditation. Too much silence is involved and it often seems to require sitting still as well. Labyrinths I like, walking meditation. I like altars, but more for building meaning and beauty, and not so much for contemplation. I like enthusiastic worship best. If the theology was more agreeable, I’d probably be drawn to Pentecostalism. I do like shouting out Amen or hallelujah during a rousing sermon and I especially love it if I can inspire a congregation to shout encouragement and it can happen if the spirit is speaking through me when I am leading worship! I believe in an active (and interactive) God. The connection, when I feel it, flows through my body and my bones, and I just have to MOVE! I also understand that others only connect to the divine through quiet, you know, that still small voice and all.

Unitarian Universalists have diverse theologies, including different beliefs about God and what happens when we die. Sometimes we go with our “best guess based on the evidence” and sometimes it is a gut feeling that just feels right. Each of us can only know a small part of the mystery. My theology has also changed over time, from Christian to agnostic to atheist to humanist to a process-theology theist. I have never been a Buddhist, a Muslim, a Jew, or a pagan, but I can understand and respect what draws people to those faith traditions and to others. I want us to be a faith that can includes all who also want to be part of a diverse community.

True, I much prefer country music over classical. Folk and Rock and roll lyrics speak to me and touch me in ways purely instrumental music doesn’t. I must like words, partly because from a young age I was an avid reading and have written most of my life, journaling my way through the changes, or capturing a moment, a feeling, with a poem. Words with music I can move to -makes me shout hallelujah. Or woot woot.

I wonder if our worship can ever be as diverse as our theologies. I wonder of it can be fun and joyous as well as emotionally moving and thought provoking. General Assembly services seem to be reaching toward that goal, and sometimes congregations are beginning as well. My current church is really trying, but diversity and inclusion of different styles of worship can be a contentious path, a difficult climb to what I think will be a higher elevation. But, hey, if I can sit still and quiet while you meditate, maybe you can dance and shout with me sometime?

It is all about hiking and the lessons learned from the trail.

If you need hiking poles, use them, and be sure to take a first aid kit along for the journey. Remember to stay with the group and try not to leave anyone behind if you can. Be kind to others on the trail. Don’t yell at bikers or people who you think are too fast or too slow. If you decide on a different path, or even to turn around, that’s OK too, just let folks know about it so they don’t worry about you getting home. Please don’t try to cause a landslide that will block a trail you aren’t interested in following. Don’t light a fire you can’t contain because it will burn you too.

L’Chaim!

Average weight this week was up .5 pounds for a total loss of 143.1

Weekly Bread #242

Poison Oak is very common in this part of California. If you hike very much at all, you will see it beside many different trails. It is green in the summer, but as fall nears the leaves turn red. Really quite beautiful in some ways, but not something to stand in the middle of for a selfie. On narrow trails, long pants can protect you from an unpleasant rash if you brush against it. Just remember to turn you pants inside out when you take them off and then wash them before you wear them again. I have never gotten the rash after being exposed countless time, but they say you become more susceptible the more you are exposed, so why take chances? No one is completely immune to much of anything, despite how healthy we believe our antibodies and immune systems might be.

Repetition can wear us down. It does me. If you hear a lie enough times, it can become easier to believe. Poison oak is a beautiful plant, but it can deceive you. Learning how to recognize and appreciate beauty while remaining aware of risks that can harm is tricky business. I don’t think anything, or anybody, is purely good or purely evil. We are neither angels nor demons, not saints or sinners. It is the actions and impacts that cause the harm. Poison oak is very fine to look at – but from a distance. There may be some people in your life that are giving you a metaphorical rash. Keeping your distance, physical and or emotional is simply the wise choice. Remember to wash your hands. Happy hiking!

L’Chaim!

Average weight this week was up 1 pound for a total loss of 143.6