Daily Bread #73

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We rode the shuttle up to Muir Woods on Saturday.  Nice flat walking for most of it and what glorious giants.  I felt even smaller around them.

I had a non-scale victory this week too as I had blood drawn in preparation for my knee surgery.  They were able to use a vein in my arm!  For years, they have had to use my hands to draw blood.  The arm is MUCH preferred.

I had a huge (6.6 pounds) weight loss this week, which would be kind of scary except for the 4 pound gain I had last week.  That gain was all water due to a medication that I have now stopped taking.  It wasn’t helping anyway, and my ankles were seriously swollen as a side affect.  OK, maybe some of the gain was the moules frites but the med was clearly the biggest part of it.

I also cleaned out my closet this week.  All those 3x clothes will go to someone else. 69028317_10218877644399696_6382569376087801856_n

My closet looks much better.  It isn’t hard to decide what to wear with fewer clothes to choose from.  Getting rid of the clothes I have shrunk out of was an emotional experience.  I loved some of those outfits and had memories of  the fun and significant times I had worn them.

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I did keep a few things that I will likely never wear again –  including the outfit I wore for my ordination back in 2007.  I wore it on many other special occasions afterward.  I mostly had to be quick with the cleaning out, taking no time to fold or sort, or I knew I wouldn’t have been able to do it.  Too many memories were woven into too many of those clothes.  I hope they bring joy to whoever will wear them next.  Large sizes can be hard to find in second hand stores, so maybe they will be appreciated.

As hard as it was, it was important to for me to do this.  It was an act of faith, of faith in myself really.  If I kept the old clothes around, part of me would have been expecting to wear them again.  I am not putting all that weight back on!  It is funny, but I went through a reverse process a few years ago when moving.  I got rid of the clothes that I didn’t think I would ever be small enough to wear again.  I guess I was wrong about that prediction, but it was still a good decision to let them go.  Lugging them around through a couple of moves was too depressing, and it was good for my mental health to get rid of them.  At that point in my life, I just needed to accept myself as I was and just be fat and happy.  Now I am again learning to accept myself as I am now, thinner but still happy.  Change is always hard.

Group this week was good again.  We talked about the Maya Angelou quote, “when you know better, you do better.” So many meanings, and so much nuance to be found in those words.  More knowledge is almost always a good thing, and damn, don’t we all want to do better?  I wish our POTUS had even a smidgen of that approach.

We also talked about the food industry and how it keeps us confused and unhealthy.

This program is not a diet.  Diets don’t work.  This isn’t about depriving yourself for a short period of time and then going back to old habits.  It is a complete change in approach to food, exercise, and to life.  I don’t feel deprived.  I feel good.

L’Chaim!  This week’s stats: I am drinking about 96 ounces of water most days.  My Fitbit report shows 116,448 steps last week for over 49 miles, which was way up from the week before and included a very long walk in Monterey.  I ate approximately 9996 calories and burned 18180 for a deficit of 8184. I am down 6.6 pounds for a total loss of 137.8 .

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