Daily Bread #41
I feel like I have turned some kind of corner, easing into this becoming an actual lifestyle rather than a tough program I am struggling to follow. I am relaxing more about my food, feeling confident that I can do what I need to do. I will continue to record everything I eat, because knowledge is power, but I can also decide to go over a few times and not stress about it. Last week I asked Anne to pick up a half pound of Molinari salami, my favorite comfort food, which was on sale. She looked at me and asked if I was sure. I said I wanted it and that I could handle it. For the next 8 days I ate an ounce of the salami with a small orange for my afternoon snack. In times past, I would have eaten all 8 ounces in one sitting.
We also went out to dinner and shared a dessert after a mostly sensible meal. I am learning that I can sometimes just eat what I want, just not every day or for every meal. I loved the dessert and I enjoyed the salami a lot, but it truly was enough. (That “dayenu” refrain may become a recurring mantra for me.)
While I am easing off on my obsessive calorie counting, I am turning into an exercise nut. I even started using a sweat band when riding my bike. I check my Fitbit app often, watching for the various the goals to turn green when I have met them.. When I had my resting metabolic rate test, it came out at 1555. Fitbit estimates 1677 based on my age, gender, and weight. I will do another test at some point to see if there are changes. But yeah, it is about figuring out what my body needs to be healthy. I love data!
Our sweet facilitator has taken some of my (hopefully gentle) suggestions to heart. We did a get-to-know each other exercise this week. I do believe that members of a group have some responsibility for how the group functions. Just like a congregation can lift up or tear down the minister (and I have experienced both kinds of congregations) so can group dynamics affect how well a facilitator does. Connie is rocking right now, although the F-bombs my old cohort tends to drop seem to startle her a little. I want to do whatever I can to help the group bond so we can support each other effectively, so I can get the support I need. This isn’t something anyone can do alone. Actually, there isn’t much of life that should be lived completely alone. We all need some solitude and reflection time of course, but we are social animals. We need each other.
We also talked about food behaviors that aren’t working for us and ways to change them. Awareness, motivation, planning and rewards are all important. With the food and exercise routines, I am on track, so I didn’t make any plans for myself other than keeping on doing what I am doing. It was good to hear from others, though.
I changed the weight goals in my fitness and food apps yesterday. For me, it has never been about the numbers, an ideal weight, or the size of clothes I can fit into, but about my health. So I just let the apps auto-select the goal numbers. But it was starting to piss me off looking at a “to lose” number that is larger than what I have already done. So I changed the number. I know I need to lose more to take the enough pressure off my knees, so I somewhat randomly picked the number that will get me to the edge between the “obese” vs the “overweight” ranges for BMI. When I get there, I can reevaluate, but it feels good to be more than half way there.
(My stats for the last week – down 2.1 pounds, drank over 8 gallons of water and exercised for over 610 minutes. My cumulative weight loss so far is 79.7 pounds.)